Mommyhood! :)

Looks like a much needed update is in order!

I'M A MOMMY!! 

This whole experience, from going to the hospital until now, has definitely not been anything like I had imagined! I really didn't think that I would have been induced, or that it would have taken 15 hours and been as hard and painful as it was... a little pain, yes, but wanting to die.. not so much! haha. I later found out that during delivery my heart-rate began dropping, my blood pressure was rising (it was around 150.. apparently it was supposed to be around 80-90!), I ran fever, I started becoming very nauseous, and I felt like I was suffocating! (where's that inhaler!? lol), and some muscles I have down below are supposedly very strong that's why it was so hard for the baby to push through.. leading to tearing and cutting! AND, the cord was wrapped around her neck! I did not find this stuff out until later Saturday night. Which I'm glad I did not know these things, especially the cord, during delivery, I'm sure I would have freaked out! As awful as all of that was.. it was worth every minute the second I saw her! It was such a surreal moment. You have a thousand emotions overcoming you all at once. Of course I cried as soon as they laid her on me. It's hard to even describe how I felt at that moment, just overwhelmed. 

ok.. enough of all the mushy :) 

Since I have popped her out.. (haha).. 

I kept hearing about all the things that will happen  to your body after you have a baby, just the way things will feel.. and what will come out.. lol.. but you don't really "get it" until it starts happening! I swear, she just may be an only child! It just seems like its one thing after another. Once I start feeling more myself, something else goes out of whack! I just want to be "me" again!! lol! I know I know.. its only been a little over a week, it takes time, blah blah.. but I'm impatient! :) 

One thing I have realized, possibly why its hard for women to lose their baby weight, all of your eating habits have changed in the last 9 months, making sure you're eating enough, and the right things (at least you can try :)). But the main things is, you're always eating, or making sure you will be able to eat. So while I was in the hospital I was still in that mode, thinking "I need to eat" "is this ok to eat".. then I realized.. I can eat however much and whenever I want now! If I don't feel like eating, I don't have to, or I can start eating a lot less now! Which made me think, that's probably why women hold on to their weight. But it is a very strange transitioning, something I never would have thought about. Just something to ponder.. :) 

Everything else really has been wonderful! I'm seriously going to go broke on all the pictures I will have printed of her! There is already a TON I need printed so I can start scrapbooking! :) Sleeping at night really hasn't been all that bad, just a couple of rough nights. But my mom and Marvin have been super helpful and will come and get her to feed or rock till she falls asleep sometimes. The medicine I'm still on makes me tired, so I'm sure once I get off of it, it won't be so bad getting up in the night to take care of her. But I just love getting her dressed to go places, its so fun picking out outfits :) I quickly realized that I will need to set aside at least another 30 minutes when it comes to getting us ready! There is so much stuff you have to make sure you pack. And they eat so much! About every 3 hours (at least) for my chunky monkey! and all the diapers..  sheesh! lol! But she is just the sweetest little girl and I love her to pieces! I have a swing and a bounce seat.. I'm not sure if they will ever go into use seeing as someone is ALWAYS holding her! Especially PaPa! haha. 

She is amazing and I am truly blessed to be her momma! :)  

*insert jeopardy music*

I'M WAITING..!!

Where is she already? Everyone was soo sure I would have her early, now nothing! I'm not totally looking forward to all the labor and delivery part, I just want to get it over with! But I'm kinda ready to just not be pregnant anymore. And I am sooo ready to see her!!

The weirdest thing is when I can feel her head move! VERY strange. Also, I was thinking last night, while I was putting the pillow cases back on my pillows and I was bending over and just moving all around, I'm doing all this with a person inside of me!! It's just weird that you can bend your 

stomach (sort of) and just do all your normal stuff with a baby in you! and it doesn't hurt her. I don't know if it seems all that weird (or whatever word) to anyone else, but its a little mind blowing to me!

I just so can't wait to see what she looks like! (she is moving all around right now! You can see my stomach just going crazy! I have my camera by me so I was going to video my stomach moving, and of course she stops! go figure!)

In just a matter of days I will have a child!! I mean, I know I have one now, but soon she will be out of me! CRAZY! But sooo exciting! :)

Well.. guess that's about it.. time for some jumping jacks and mexican food! gotta do what I can to get her outta here! jk :)

~Laura

p.s.

I don't know why the end of some words are going to the next line, it's all weird. sorry.

just sittin around..

I'm just waiting for my class to start, so I thought I would kill some time. The entire time I have been on the computer this little girl has been doing somersaults I swear! my stomach has been moving around all over the place, if anyone was looking I'm sure they would be able to tell! I will miss that.

So I pretty much have like 2 weeks left to my due date.. um, how crazy is that!? She could get here ANYTIME!! The doctor told me probably not this week, but that she was on call friday night.. just in case! haha. I really just need to make till after Tuesday, the 9th, because that is when I have finals! After that I guess it really doesn't matter when she comes! Although, I would perfer not the 12th, Sarah's birthday, and the 13th is my cousin Eddie's graduation.. well, as long as she waited till after the graduation, that way all the family would still be in town. Then there are like a hundred other birthdays still in December... so, I just hope she doesn't have to share with anyone. Its bad enough it will be so close to Christmas!

I still have not found the perfect coming home outfit for her. :( everything I pick everyone tells me it will still be too big on her, even if its newborn! I really kinda wanted a dress, but that has been close to impossible! Most everything is 0-3 months, which she falls into, but newborn would be better. she is just going to come home naked! haha, jk. I'm so focused on what she will come home in I haven't even really thought about me. Probably some comfy pants! I have no idea how anything will fit, so I think I will just go with something still kinda stretchy, just in case!
I think Marvin asks me everyday if my bag is ready. Its not. I keep telling them I still use everything that will go in the bag, like my toiletries, and bras, makeup, and my cell phone charger (just in case).. so, pretty much when the time comes I'm going to be running around like crazy trying to put my bag together! I have a list made of everything I will need, that way hopefully I won't forget anything! If I do, I will just send someone home to get what I need :)

Alright, well, I will try and get some pics up.. I better hurry before I run out of time!
Later Haters :)

Into the 9th!

I am in my 9th and FINAL month! a very bittersweet time for sure. I am super stoked about her being here in probably just a matter of weeks.. but that also means I won't be pregnant anymore! duh I know.. but it's kinda weird. For the last 8 months really that's all that I have thought about.. being pregnant. That's what your life revolves around.. and then its just over. All those changes and feelings are gone. It's a good thing it is replaced by a sweet little baby, or it would really suck! haha! 

I went to the doc's today.. unfortunately not much news. I guess nothing has really progressed much from last week. She put her bet on that I won't have her within the week, and she "will be a monkey's uncle" if I do! lol.. she's quite an entertaining doctor! Although, something that I learned, she might not be the one to deliver the baby! If I go into labor when it's not one of her scheduled shifts or she's not on-call.. I get someone else. I'm pretty bummed about that. She says she delivers about 80% of her babies, so I guess that's good odds.. hopefully I fall into that 80%. Hmm.. I think that's about it on the doctor visit. 

I have decided to make a list of the things I love.. and love a little less about being pregnant: 

Love:

you don't have to worry about sucking in for pictures! 

you get to wear really comfy clothes

the knowing that there is a person growing inside of you.. it's absolutely mind blowing

getting to feel that person move inside of you.. the most wonderful feeling ever! 

getting to hear the heartbeat of the little one.. priceless.

getting to eat whatever you want.. for the most part :)

people going out of their way to make sure you're comfortable and have what you need

the fact that i'm going to be a mommy!

all of the changes your body goes through- pregnancy effects so many areas of your body I had no idea about!

NAPS!! 

buying a bunch of cute baby stuff 

feeling the baby have hiccups.. very odd

seeing how excited everyone is that you're having a baby

strangers caring and asking questions and congratulating you

having a love for someone you haven't even met that is indescribable! 

Love a little less:

feeling and looking fat! 

going to the bathroom a thousand times a day!

not ever really being able to actually get comfortable

the constant feeling that you're suffocating

the kicks in the ribs.. not very enjoyable

constant tossing and turning during the night

mood swings.. sometimes you just can't control em.

stretch marks that I just now got.. ugh.. 

the feeling of your stomach resting on your legs when you're sitting.. very strange

constant pain in your back

things i took for granted: 

being able to bend over with out having to squat funny

being able to tie my shoes and shave my legs with ease

being able to lie on my stomach

doing everything for just myself

being able to see under my stomach.. lol

being able to stay up late.. sleep becomes your best friend when you can get it!

sense of balance.. you wouldn't believe how many times you trip over yourself or loose your footing

memory. even doing this list i forget what all i want to put on here! (aka- baby brain, it's for real!) 

picking up and holding my nephew

picking up and holding anything over 10 lbs! lol 

walking up stairs.. you have no idea how much energy that takes when you're 7+ months! 

being able to drink as much coke and coffee as you want

Well, those are just a few things. I know as soon as I post this I will think of a ton more reasons! Even though there are some things about being pregnant that aren't completely enjoyable.. I wouldn't trade any of it for a second. It is such a wonderful and fascinating time, its hard to describe the kind of feelings you get, emotionally. Your moods definitely go on a roller coaster ride, and a ride it it for sure! But the feelings I mean are not that of happy or sad so much, but more of protectiveness, joy, anxious, nervous, scared, unconditional love.. it's just wonderful. plain and simple. 

That is all for now. :) 

Hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving! :)

getting close!!

My goodness.. just one more month till the little one is here!! I am soo ready for her to be here, but also feel like I need more time! not sure for what, I just somehow don't feel prepared. Not like incapability, like, things aren't organized, or I don't have everything I need.. ? And as ready and wanting as I am for her to be here, it doesn't seem real that she will actually be here.. does that make sense? It's just very surreal. 

I went to the hospital on Sat. with my mom and Sarah for a tour of the labor and delivery! It was very enlightening. They showed us all the rooms we would be going to during different stages, of course depending on how things are progressing you might skip some! haha. The actual delivery room is pretty big, I'm pretty sure you can have visitors in there up until show time! lol. There is a jet bath tub if I would like to partake, or have the baby in there! haha, no thank you! there are big birthing balls, pretty much a huge exercise ball that you can bounce on or roll your back across, I guess..? Then the bed. So, how everyone has seen people give birth laying back and pushing.. not the case here! I will be in a complete upright position, with my feet propped up on a lower level.. my butt (and other area, lol) will be like hanging off the bed.. kinda like I'm squatting off the bed... not really sure if that was a good visual.. haha! To me, this seems super uncomfortable!! like my stomach is going to be major squished. But, they say it is a much better way to deliver because gravity is help pulling the baby down. Otherwise if you're laying down, or back, you are having to push harder to get the baby up and out. It makes sense, just seems like a wayyy more awkward position!! yikes! :) 

Then.. they showed us the nursery! There was one baby in there that was 2 hours old!! So weird to picture that baby being inside a belly just 2 hours ago! It seemed so big. These poor babies must really be squished up in there! haha. There they talked about all the test and and things they will check for before bringing the baby back to me. Once I have the baby, they will let me keep her for about an hour, during that time visitors are welcome, but they say to not let anyone in till the end so that we can have that initial bonding and skin contact time. Then, after they take her to the nursery they will clean me up (gross) and let me get in the shower and stuff, I'm guessing. During this time visitors are also welcome.. well, after I'm clean :) The bad thing about this, is that the baby could be in the nursery up to 3 hours! depending on how busy they are! Bummer! Hopefully it won't be that long because I would hate for everyone to be just sitting around. Everyone says the time flies.. but to the visitors too? they don't care about me, they want the baby! haha! So, I guess there isn't a huge rush for everyone to get to the hospital right away. 

Also, they showed the different rooms you can get. Semi-private, private or suite. Semi is the only covered by insurance, so you have to pay to upgrade. and after seeing the rooms.. I'm so paying! The semi is 2 beds with a curtain separating them! no thank you! I would hate to have to share the room with another family, how annoying. So, we will be paying the extra $100 a night for the private room! :) 

Overall, it was very interesting to see everything and know what to expect to a degree. I would recommend it to first time mommies. 

Also, I think she is going to come early! My lower back has been KILLING me the past few days, and my stomach has been hurting a little extra as well. My mom thinks these are signs or early labor! Plus, I'm still having the Braxton Hicks contractions.. so.. yeah. When I went to the doc's last week she says some of the signs will feel like cramping. Which I have had more back cramping then stomach cramping, so I don't know if that makes a difference? But she said there is no way I will be confused about real labor! She said it will feel like really bad cramps, to the point where you can't really talk during them! fun stuff! Definitely don't think I'm there yet, but I think something is going on. Today has been really tough, and uncomfortable, and painful. No bueno. :(  But I go to the Doc again tomorrow (and every week now) so we will see what she has to say. She is going to be checking down south now (ugh!!) so she will be able to tell if she has dropped, and if I'm dilating at all (which apparently you can start doing before you are in labor!) so.. should be interesting! :) 

Alrighty, I guess that was pretty sufficient for what's been going on :) Hope you enjoyed Smith :) (I know that's not your name, but whatever :)) 

Love, Momma-to-be-VERY- soon! :) 

be warned!

just a heads up, i'm in a very not so good mood.. there may be a little venting going on.. 

today has been miserable! I'm so tired of working I could scream! it's becoming very very painful! which then just irritates the crap out of me! I work with babies.. babies play on the floor.. which mean i must get on the floor. which means i am getting up and down off the floor picking up babies a thousand times a day! normally, no biggie, but when you're 8 months preggo and have all this extra weight pulling on your back.. well, I just want to cry. Its soo frustrating. especially since i know that if i wasn't pregnant this wouldn't be bothering me at all, but since i am, and i have to work, there is nothing i can do about it but be miserable. and, which sometimes is a little funny, every time i hold one of the babies, whether to feed or rock to sleep, aubrey will kick the crap out of them, and me! jealousy? lol. but sometimes its a little painful, but i mean, i have to hold the babies! and now im wondering if its hurting her with the babies on my stomach. that is on my list of questions to ask the doc next week :) I just soooo wish I didn't have to work! oh, it would be so nice.. maybe with the next one.. lol.

oh, I think I may be getting braxton hicks contractions now! my mom is convinced, but since I have never experienced them, i don't really know for sure? although, one of the other preggos at work told me she is getting them and described them.. so I'm thinking I probably am. which doesn't really mean anything right now, unless they become really frequent and painful.. then a baby might be on the way! haha. :) although, still not the most comfortable thing right now, its kinda like she is just balling up and pushing up against me really hard. another question for the doc.. :)

also, i HATE that i am in school this semester! I soo wish I took it off!! after being at work and doing all the other stuff I need to do, school is pretty much the last thing that I want to do at night. I just want to put some comfy clothes on a relax. I know I just go twice a week, but it takes a toll on you more than you know when you're pregnant. 

sometimes I just want to scream!

As excited as I am about this little one coming... I just hate the whole situation! I just have to keep remembering God allowed this to all happen for a reason.. what that reason is, I haven't a clue! But I know God will work it all out the way He wants it. Because I am no longer making decisions.. that didn't really work out to well. As much as I would like to be in control and see how things would go if I did it my way, I'm not going to!! In any area of my life! 

Ok, well this has been really depressing, sorry. I'm kind of in a depressed mood. life is very overwhelming. 

On a lighter note, I had my baby shower! Although, it didn't quite go as planned.. but hey, whatever! as soon as I can get my pics onto this stupid computer I will put some up! (I hate macs sometimes!!) 

pray for me. lol.

nap time.. :)

oh dear!

so, I hope no one minds, but, I will no longer be taking, well, at least posting, any more pregnant pictures of myself!! sorry to disappoint, but I have come to a very sad realization... I'M GIGANTIC! 

I took a picture tonight, and that's when I decided no more! It's crazy! I'm huge! I really did not think I was that big, but apparently I am wrong. I showed my mom the picture, and asked if I really looked that big, and she just looked at me smiling! ugh! 

I know, it's all part of the process, but, still, how is someone supposed to be "ok" with looking like a fat cow! haha! although, its really not that funny. just ya'll wait!! :) 

oh man...  

oh pregnancy..

I'm starting my 8th month!! whoa! and its really beginning to hit me that she could really start to come any time now! (granted, its still a little early, but still!) All this stuff I have been reading, like braxton hicks, which is like practice contractions!, which could start happening within the next few weeks! and stuff about labor... oh man!  this is going to be fun.. yeah right! 

ok, enough of that!

So I'm beginning to think I'm might just be an easy target! for what? suggestive selling food!! lol! me, sarah and our friend amanda went to see a movie for Amanda's birthday, and all i was going to get was a drink, and then he starts asking if i wanted a pretzel, which i was already debating, then he asked about an ice cream sandwhich, which also sounded good... then oreo cakesters, for $1.. sold! haha! I was suckered in! all someone has to do is just mention something to eat and i'm hungry! not good! haha. 

let me just tell you, this little girl has become VERY active! non stop movement! which is cool, for sure.. but sometimes, SIT STILL! haha! i will lay on my side and she'll start pushing against me, so i roll over, pushes again. i will wake up to her moving all around... needless to say, sleeping has become a bit of a battle! even if i'm just sitting, she starts kickin around. it was really weird at work the other day, i was just rocking in the rocking chair while the babies were sleeping and she just went to town! I could see my stomach moving from where she was going!! if i held my breath then i could really feel her move, like she was doing a flip.. totally crazy!! it was really strange to see my stomach bubble up when she moved! but also amazing!! :)

I've decided, heels are no more! my calves are so sore like I have never worn high heels before! my feet are throbbing.. and this is in my most comfortable heels! what the heck! although, I have been in them ALL day, not intentionally, i thought i was going to get a chance to change, and i didn't! after church, me, sarah and collin went to lunch at the harbor, then out to my aunt's in forney to drop collin off while me and sarah go to some antique stores. so we are at the store, which my feet are already hurting, and i'm telling you i could barely last! I finally told sarah we had to leave because i could no longer move my legs! haha. torture! so... instead of just taking a break and going somewhere else... we went to coldstone and got a pedicure!! lol! ah-mazing! one of the best pedi massages ever!! so.. if i wear heels again, i'm bringing back up shoes!! :)

I'm definitely ready for her to be here and out of me... but I know I will really miss being pregnant.. definitely bittersweet! but I just can not wait for her to be here!!!! i'm so curious to see how she will look! :)

alrighty.. that is all. 

~Laura~

first purchase!

Yes, I have finally bought something for the baby! As of yet I haven't really need to buy anything, but I did! A baby book! Its really cute, pink of course :) I'm sure I will start filling it out tonight! 

Also, I think I have completed my registering! I put the finishing touches on it today. I finally found a diaper bag that I like, so yay! I keep hearing that you don't want one too big, because you will end up using it as your purse too! so, the one I found has 2 bags! One large, and one smaller.. so, I can switch em for whatever occasion :) and its pink and brown. 

Doctor's appt. tomorrow! I think I'm going to get in trouble! My mom is going with me, as usual, and she keeps getting on to me about my asthma! haha. I have been taking allergy medicine everyday, sudafed until I ran out, and was doing my preventative inhaler until I started needing my rescue inhaler.. so, I have been good.. I can't help it if my asthma is still acting up! Plus, when I went to the ER they told me that from this point on my asthma could act up more and seem worse than it really is. so? I guess I will have to see what the Doc says! Also, I think she is going to tell the Doc that my shower is at Jenny's.. where there are cats. not good... lol. too late though, the invites are in the mail! :)

Hopefully I will get the crib put together tonight! that will be exciting! I can't wait to start putting everything together, and organizing, and decorating! fun! but I need my baby shower first :) 

Oh, and I'm keeping an eye out for a really cute newborn christmas pj's! how adorable will that be for her to wear christmas morning! hopefully she will be here!! haha! and hopefully early enough that I'm not still in the hospital on christmas. so, I'm thinking her due date (19th) would be really great! Hear that little one?! :)

Ok, well I'm going to see what kind of healthy food I can eat for dinner. I feel like I need to extra since I had Long John Silvers (which I never get!) for lunch! greasy greasy.. but delicious!! Hopefully that won't become a craving, because that could be dangerous! 

Later haters :) 

getting excited!!

So, me and my mom just about finished registering at babies r us tonight! still lacking a few things, although my brain is on overload so i can't really remember what things! things (as in the baby!) are really starting to set in.. big time. she is going to be here in just a couple of months! hello.. crazy! yet i'm so anxious for her to be here. work gave all the teachers this parenting magazine, so i was looking at it, and there were all these cute ideas to do with your kids, like snacks to make, places to go, etc., i cannot wait till she is big enough to enjoy all those kinds of things! fun stuff! 

also, i have de

cided to just create my own bedding. i couldn't settle on one i really wanted (well

, the one i really want is only available online so i can't see how it looks and feels in person, and its $300! so.. ) i found this really soft off white bumper, that has little polka dots in the same color on it- like raised up, then these really cute sheets that have different color and size pink circles, and a cute mobile that has butterflies and dragonflies.. and the colors match really well! i know i will get a dozen blankets, so i'm not real worried about that, but i will keep my eyes open for a more heavy duty one, or just have someone make me one :) my mom bought one set of the sheets (apparently i will need several!) and the mobile.. and this cute, pink dragonfly that has glitter on it.. i guess that's what mostly pushed me into making my own bedding.. that, and the sheets.. they're really cute and soft. haha.  and organic! LOL. which apparently i'm be

coming, several of the things i registered for are organic or "earth friendly" haha.. oh well, good i guess :) I can't wait to start putting everything together!! I just have to wait a few more weeks till i get everything else! oh fun! and i'm going to get really crafty and make something.. hopefully it won't turn out like crap! haha! it involves paint.. so we'll see how that goes! I'm going to buy some blank canvas picture things, at least one, i want to make some kind of design and put her name on it. if i can put what i have pictured on the canvas, it will be a miracle! i'm not so talented when it comes to drawing or painting.. so wish me luck! haha. 

ok, so i guess that does it for now. 

love,

 little-momma-to-be!  :)

annoyed!

Apparently emotions run high again in the third trimester! at least they do for me! This past week has been ridiculous! I have cried or been on the verge of tears several different days now, and over things most people wouldn't get that upset about! or I just keep getting upset over nothing.. literally, I will have no actual reason to be upset and I just want to cry! lol. its craziness! and little things are really really starting to get to me! For instance, this lady at work. she is like 60 years old and she is the other Infant I teacher, so she comes in to relieve me. She is a nice old lady. but she is seriously driving me nuts! If I'm not careful I can see myself just totally going off on her! We obviously have our different ways of doing things, with the babies, the room itself, etc. She leaves me notes all the time telling me what I need to do (like I don't know how!), when she comes in she will change everything I have done. Today, she comes in and 2 of the babies are still finishing their bottles, but they are taking their sweet precious time (no bitterness there! lol), so I set the bottles aside and let Maggie now they are still eating on them so she can still use them. I walk out to go in the kitchen to put the dishes away, I look in the room and she is dumping Wyatt's bottle! hello- he was drinking that! then she starts going through all the diaper bags to see what I have put in there and starts fixing things! seriously? and on their charts we mark how their day was, what they need to bring, when they ate, changed diapers.. so every morning when I look on the chart she will have corrected (not that there needs to be correcting going on!) what I filled in! like if I just check a box, she will go back and fill it in, like a check isn't good enough, or I thought one of the babies needed more wipes so I marked it, then I found their extras and so I scratched it out and put "oops", so then Maggie goes back and puts "ok" next to it! and she is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS late!!! and then tells me she will be right back bc she wants to go get some tea.. and then she has to put all her stuff away.. ugh!  Clearly this is all bothering me just a bit too much! lol! I'm sure nobody cares about all this, but I do! I'm about to lose my mind over this lady!! 

oh, and then I just read Lauren Coats blog, where she was annoyed.. so that just stirred it all up! haha! 

I think I need a nap! ...... 

Third Trimester!

So, I am now into my third trimester! whoo-hoo! sort of..! They say the first trimester you're really sick and tired all the time, the second you get this boost of energy, and the third you start getting tired again.. well, I have been more than just tired! I'm starting to wonder if my body just isn't quite cut out for pregnancy! lol. I have had so many issues it seems! Within the last 2 weeks I have gone to the doctors/hospital FIVE times! that's a little ridiculous! and I could have made it 6 on Sunday since all that night I was feeling really nauseous and woke up at about 6am to throw up 4 times! (I have gone my ENTIRE pregnancy throw up free.. and now!!??) hopefully it was just a fluke, which I'm thinking it was since the rest of Sunday I pretty much slept away, didn't eat barely anything, and then had fever that night!! If my temp. had gone up 1 degree more I could have been back to the hospital! Let's hope this is not a foretelling of how my final days will be! haha. Don't get me wrong though, I do love being pregnant.. it's such a cool experience! You can get away with so much more too! lol! But I am sort of ready for it to be over (although, I think I will be sad when it is!) so that I can know for sure everything is ok with the baby. I have never had so much fear and anxiety over something as I do now with this little one! Plus, I just want to see how cute she is going to be! :)  

Oh! I have been looking at tons of baby bedding (I think I will just have someone make me a blanket instead of all the bedding. And the blanket won't just be a baby one, like one she can use for a while.. if that makes sense.. lol) It is really hard picking one! I have bookmarked alot! Do I want something more solid so I can accessorize, or something with just a pattern, or something with little fireflies on it.. ? oh choices! I'm realizing I need to decide soon since my baby shower is just around the corner! I will probably register this weekend! exciting! :) 

alrighty.. guess that's good for now! 

~Laura

My poor arms!

So, went to the doc again today! After not eating anything after about 7:15 last night, I was just a bit hungry by the time I go to the office. They take my blood right away and give me this nasty glucose drink that you have to finish in 5 minutes, then wait an hour and have my blood taken again.. repeat two more times!! (well, not the drink) (the test takes 3 hours!) My arms are still bruised from a week and a half ago from that appt., and from last sat. when I went to the ER! so after FOUR more sticks my poor arms look awful!! and they are so sore! It sucks! by the last draw they couldn't even get any blood out of my right arm! and having my blood taken is sooo not one of my favorite things! after the first draw and the drink I was feeling very nauseous and wasn't sure if I would be able to finish the test, bc if I were to throw up then I have to come back another day and start all over! So I pushed through! Definitely not a fun thing! So cross your fingers, toes, and everything else that I don't have this stupid diabetes!! And go back to the doc. for just my regular appt. on Oct. 1... if I have to have blood drawn again I'm going to go crazy! (which I have had to do at EVERY appt. I have been to!!) Ayiyi!! only 3 more months.. :) 

Sigh..

Today is one of those days my emotions are getting to the best of me. I'm in a very annoyed mood and really don't have any reason to be. Just am. I also feel slightly depressed. I guess I do have reason for things to depress me, although some of those reasons are my choice, so.. i guess I really shouldn't be? None the least, still am a bit. I just wish some things were different. 

So, I'm off to another unscheduled doctors appt. on Friday morning! Look's like I didn't pass my diabetes test last week, so I have to go for a more in depth test friday. which stinks bc you have to fast the night before! that means no food or drink, even water!, starting at 8:30 p.m. Thursday night- after my test friday! My appt. is at 8:30 am, but still, you can't keep a prego from eating! crazy people! :) I don't really know alot about diabetes, but the one thing I relate to it is no sweets, or at least a limited amount. My name is Laura and I'm a sweet-aholic! This could be a problem. Although, with this type of diabetes, they say it can go away after you have the baby. so that's good. but let's just hope I don't have it at all!! I'm tired of going to the doctors.. and it's only going to get worse as time goes on! well, really I'm just tired of going to find out if there are things wrong with me. and getting my blood taken! for some reason I'm bruising really easily, and badly, now. my arm looks like I'm a junkie! no lie! oh the joys of being pregnant.. ! 

Also, I'm really tired. In every sense of the word. I feel like all I do is sleep, but I'm still so tired physically. but also very tired of thinking. there is so much to think about and plan and wonder and try to figure out... its exhausting. 

well, I'm going to put my clothes in the dryer and go to bed. at 9:30. lame. 

Don't worry, tomorrow should be better! :) 

Some realizations...

First, let me just say, this little baby is moving around like crazy right now!! I guess she likes Whataburger too :) It's the strangest feeling when she starts kicking around, sometimes it kinda grosses me out so I move so that she will stop! lol. They say babies are moving around in there alot, so you would think you would constantly be feeling someone swimming around your insides, but not so much. which I'm kinda thankful for. Sometimes she kicks so hard its a little uncomfortable, but I wouldn't trade it for anything! Even though the thought of it is kinda gross (to me anyway. I mean if you really think about what's going on!) it's also very amazing! There is a little person inside my belly! Hello! Crazy!! The closer it gets time for her to pop out, the more I'm REALLY realizing, I'M GOING TO HAVE A KID!!! I feel totally comfortable with knowing what to do and all that, but knowing that she is mine, my responsibility to raise in a Godly way, to make sure she is always safe and loved, and knows her manners, and doesn't bite other kids (lol- that is actually a very big issue at around age 2!) and to teach her to walk and talk and eat by herself.. pretty crazy.. and slightly overwhelming at times! I feel like I'm going to be very overprotective! I don't really want to be, but, I don't want anyone else to mess her up! lol! I don't know if that really makes sense..? 

So for one of my realizations.. I don't want to work! (haha, like that's really new!) But, for a for real reason now! So I work at a daycare, I see the parents drop off their kids, some are upset to leave them, some not so much. The parents obviously don't have a choice, they do have to work! But, then, its like, they have no idea how their child is during the day! How they act, what the do, what they learn.. it's really sad. I don't want to not know what my child does for hours without me! It sucks! Especially since I'm with the little bitty babies, and I see how much those kids do during their time with me, their parents are missing all that interaction! Plus, how can I really trust someone to take care of my kid as good as me?! :)  As much as I have a love/hate relationship with my job, I'm really thinking its a good thing I'm there! That way, I can be with her at work (hopefully still in the same class!) then when I get off work I get to take her with me and spend the rest of the day together, so.. I won't really be missing out on much hopefully! I just want to be a stay at home mom for a couple of years.. who wants to pay for my living?! :) 

I have now forgotten my other realizations.. oops. 

But let me just say, becoming a mom has REALLY changed my ways of thinking on alot of things! Actually, its made me think of things that I normally wouldn't have thought twice about. It's crazy how much you can care for someone who isn't even here yet.. it's mindblowing to say the least!! But I CANNOT wait to hold my little one, to see who she will be, and look like, and how she will act, and do her hair in pigtails EVERY day, and take her picture a zillion times! It's going to be great! :) 

And it begins...

First, let me say, this blog is all thanks to Mrs. Lauren Stevenson, who has convinced me to do one of these!  

Now, don't really know how to go about all this, but.. 

This will probably be mostly a baby blog, with random other goings on in my life.. but the baby is the most exciting, so she will mostly be focused on! :) 

At the moment I'm going completely blank on what to say.. so, instead of trying to come up with something, I will just return later! 

Hope y'all enjoy.. whoever "y'all" will be! :)