Thursday, March 6, 2014

our new normal

Man, these past 6 weeks have flown by!! It seems like Wyatt just joined us yesterday and at that same time if feels as though he’s always been here. Such a weird feeling of time. My hope is to remember and document what has been going on with our boy and now our family of four.. but, since I can hardly remember yesterday, we’ll see how it goes ;)

The first two weeks Philip stayed home and it was great!! It was such a help having him there- he was so supportive and just did whatever was needed. We all hated it when he had to go back to work.. but, suppose that was needed :)

The transition for 1 to 2 kids was about what I expected I suppose. I’m just trying really hard to make sure I spend one on one time with Aubrey, but, it’s a little hard to come by sometimes. Philip has been good on filling in the gaps for me.

Aubrey has been doing great with Wyatt. She still can’t get enough of him. She is always kissing on him and wanting to hold him. Though, she does lose interest in holding him after about 5 minutes ;) She desperately wants to be able to pick him up and walk around with him, but we’re not quite there yet! She does like to help out with him when he’s fussy or just getting things for him- she’s a great big sis! She can’t wait for him to actually be able to play with her :)

Our biggest struggle, and something that I wasn’t really expecting, has been breastfeeding. Man oh man. I feel like I could write a book on all the thoughts and emotions I have had with this process. It was something that I never really wanted to do but knew it would be good for him and I deep down did want to know what that experience would feel/be like, so I thought I’d give it a go. I went into thinking “I’ll give it a full force effort, but if it doesn’t work or I don’t like it, then oh well, no biggie.” Wrong. I didn’t really want to do it, but now I can’t let it go, no matter how hard its been. The first 5 days were.. awful. I wasn’t really showed the proper way to get him to latch, so I thought what I was doing was right. Holy moly, pain. I got pretty tore up and really just dreaded feeding him. I hated everything about it. But, I didn’t feel like it was “ok” to quit. I hadn’t given it enough time. So, I switched to pumping exclusively. That was working out pretty good, I would just get up and pump about 30 minutes before he had to eat and then give him the fresh milk. There was usually always more than what was needed, so I was able to get a bit of stock going. I was pumping anywhere from 2-6oz combined from each session. Pumping was nice because it allowed Philip to help feed him, but it was a bit of a beating having to get up extra early in the night to beat him to the punch. I pumped for 3 weeks. I would put him on me occasionally just to see what would happen, he’d always go back to me, but I still wasn’t sure if he was on quite right because there was always some pain. Before I went to straight pumping I did go see one of the midwifes for some help, which was good, but I just couldn’t get past the pain (and like I said, I was pretty tore up, so I wanted a break from the pain and wanted to be able heal). Sooo, randomly, on Feb. 10th I just decided I’d go back to exclusively breastfeeding. I had lunch with Natalie and Ashley that day, so I fed him on me before we left.. and didn’t pump at all. Bad idea.

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I had no idea. I thought Wyatt had peed on me! Good thing was my scarf was long, so it covered it up some before I left. Geeze! haha. Got home and fed him right away, and pumped some too. I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I could just switch from pumping to nursing, no problem. Wrong. It just wasn’t the same. I also went to see a lactation consultant a couple of days later, just to make sure I was doing things right and everything was ok.. well, I ended up clogging one side, (which sucked!) because I wasn’t pumping out the extra milk! I kept trying to pump to relieve the pain on that side and get it flowing good again… but, it had already messed up my supply. I was pumping easily 2-3oz on just that side, then down to half-1oz! Grr. Once all of that cleared up, I started fazing out the pumping. I now have not pumped in at least 2 weeks? I just don’t want to. Nursing takes long enough to have to add pumping too! Ha! But, I’m sure I will pump some in the future. He transitioned back to me no problem- the boy just wants to eat, however! Even though I still don’t feel totally confident in what I’m doing or how how things should be done, and it is still a little uncomfortable (physically), and what is/isn’t normal for him to be doing… I just can’t give up. Many tears have been shed, many very frustrated moments, many times I’ve wanted to quit… but, I feel like I need to keep going, at least just a little longer. I joined a support group on Facebook which has been great- very encouraging and reassuring! I just never knew breastfeeding would be so (SO) emotional- but, it certainly has been. Things are getting better and into more of a groove, which is awesome. Though, that groove is every 2 hours during the day (which isn’t my fave, haha) and at least 4 hours at night (he has gone 6 hours a few times).   Can’t wait to see what my next update will entail in this area.

Let’s see, what’s going on with Wyatt:

Sleeps minimum 4 hour stretches at night. Likes to have the light on at bedtime until he is asleep. Likes to be bounced to calm him down. Does not depend on a paci, but will take it. Props his head on his hand when he eats- like he’s just relaxing, haha. He’s super strong!!- been holding his head up since day 1 and he seriously stands without us really having to support him- craziness. At 6 weeks he wears 3-6 month clothing and (barely) size 1 diapers- just needing to finish this last box (didn’t make it, had to move on to the 2’s!). Only wore newborn diapers for 1 day. Likes blankets snuggled around his face when he’s trying to fall asleep. Sneezes at least twice after every feeding. Gets the hiccups at least once a day. First smiled just under 2 weeks (now all the time- love it!) Rolled from stomach to back at 2weeks 1day- has done it a handful of times since, really tries to go from back to stomach though! Started “talking” at 3-4 weeks. Laughed at 5 weeks. Poops A LOT. Was left with someone other than me and Philip at exactly 5 weeks- momma had to get a root canal, so Philips mom watched him (and Aubrey) until she had to leave and my mom was able to watch them. First time left with someone other than family, church childcare at 6wks 5 days (while momma worked). At 5wks 3days he weighed 11lbs 10oz. Has definitely turned into a mommas boy.

Lots of pics!

First night home-

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Holding his head up on day 2.. so strong!

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Day 3, my dad (and siblings) came over- holding that head up again!

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Did not love his sponge baths!

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3rd or 4th day we introduced the paci. Not sure why we waited so long?! ha!

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I told Philip as long as I was having issues (and pain!) feeding him, he was on diaper duty ;)

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First sleepy smile :)

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I mea, really?!

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Aubrey helping to feed him, she was pretty excited :)

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First time out alone with both kids- love Aubrey’s face on the left- much more realistic!

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She was so happy he fell asleep while she was holding him.

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A realistic view of the house at the beginning. Aubrey was reading him stories from her Bible, so sweet.

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First day without Philip! :(

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Wyatt’s first birthday party- Levi’s 3rd. (Aubrey’s first bday party was Levi’s brother, Jake)

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2 week checkup!

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my sleeping babies.

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cousins!

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First time to church- 3 weeks old. Did awesome! Ate and then stayed awake and happy the whole time. :)

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The moment Aubrey had been waiting for! He likes bath time much better now :)

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Valentines! Aubrey was so excited that I got her these mints that Philip eats, she kept telling me “Thank you! Thank you for getting my own mints!” Crazy girl.

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This just cracks me up. He makes this face often- I call him “Little Zoolander”.. its also his “bathroom” face, ha!

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He was so content like this.

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Love these.

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First time to the park- 1 month old.

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1 month pics!

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Happy Birthday to Grandma :)

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Another park day. This will be in our future a lot!

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Happy boy!

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Last time at the birth center.

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He’s a night owl. He gets so happy and playful after the last feeding before bed. I love it.. but, I love sleep too! ;)

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Hanging out at home.

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milk drunk.

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She just loves him! I think the feeling is mutual :)

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Enjoying the 80 degree weather, before it turned to 25 degrees the next day! In March! Texas..

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3rd wheel on our date night.

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Sweet girl!

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Accidently dressed us to match :)

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I never know what I’m going to find when I go to check on her. All her babies and pillows piled high next to her :)

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We love eating lunch with Philip at his work!

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LOVE.

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To end, the first picture of them both smiling together! :)

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What a crazy, tiring, exciting, happy, frustrating, exhausting and blessed time it has been already. Its insane to think of how things were just 7 weeks ago, or even just a few weeks ago! Things are changing daily and I’m trying to (happily) soak up every minute.

Love this life God has given me!

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